My Life Lessons

New Job

rdeeter — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 02:19:47 +0000

I’ve been at my new job for a week now, and I have to say I really like it! While I am still working as a Fitness Director for the YMCA like I have for the past 6 years, this time feels different. Maybe because I’m a parent now, I really love the family aspect of the Y. Since we live 1 mile from my work, my husband goes to workout there which never happened at my last job. Michael is taking swim lessons again. It’s like my workplace is a place I can also be with my family. And that’s part of why I think this is such an incredible organization!

We have a small team of 4 full time directors at the location I am working at. I welcome that too. We all know what is going on with each other and can have each other’s back. At the same time, I can lean on colleagues at the Ys just down the road. So I’m part of a small team and a big team at the same time. I don’t have anyone watching over my shoulder because my new boss believes in me and trusts that I’m doing what needs to get done to help us fulfill our mission. And we are a very mission-driven organization. One of the priorities I get to work on is how to help families work out to get and stay healthy together. How cool is that? We have a program that works specifically with cancer survivors to help them regain strength and stamina for every day life. I am so excited to be able to dream up other ways to help change people’s lives for the better. That is why I love this organization. And that is why I can say I am finally doing what I have dreamed about doing for many years now. I’m sure there will be obstacles along the way, but with the support of so many great staff, colleagues, and my family, I don’t think that will get me down.

Back in the Saddle

rdeeter — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 02:38:07 +0000

Well, it’s been almost 3 months since I left my job in Chicago. Just over a month since Michael started day care. You would think that I would have gotten a million things done with all my spare time! But in many ways, I feel like I’ve gotten less done than when I had to juggle everything at once; the exception being cooking. In the last month I have taken time to make all those recipes I’ve been hanging onto for years, and never felt I had the time to make them. So I’ve made some Italian, Mexican, Spanish, Asian and American. Some quite elaborate, and others not so much. I may never have the time to do this again, but it has been a yummy project!

On Tuesday, I will be going back to work full-time. I am back at the Y, back in the role of a Fitness Director. So it will be familiar in many ways, but different in many ways too. I have a whole new staff to get to know, members to learn about, and facility/equipment ups and downs to navigate. I feel ready to get back in the game and do my thing again. The last year has been quite a gift to me. The time I’ve been able to spend with Michael and the time to continue to heal my heart from missing Jonathan has been priceless.

Now in a new city, new job, new season of life. I am ready to rock!

Remembering

rdeeter — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 17:02:21 +0000

On Sunday, the pastor that preached at our church shared a bit of his personal story. Without going into detail, he told the story of his firstborn son, Simeon, who died in utero at 7 months. Even though I was told what he was going to share about, it still brought tears to my eyes. As he talked about the time that followed and the people that prayed for them and the new friends they made and the lives that were changed. . . . I couldn’t keep the tears back. It took me back in time. Not just to the day we lost Jonathan, but to the months that followed. I can still remember all the faces that showed up to his Memorial Service. The house calls. The meals. The cards and prayers. They all helped to sustain us. But more importantly, was the opportunity I’ve had to share about Jonathan. Just like hearing Simeon’s story touched my heart deeply, I know Jonathan has done the same for so many. And while some people don’t like to hear just painful stories. . . . . it’s the only way our children live on. As time goes by, I feel like I have fewer opportunities to tell people about Jonathan. Perhaps that helps in the healing process, but sometimes it makes me a tiny bit sad. I miss my son. I so much wish he were here with him. I think he would make a good big brother to Michael.

Living in a new place where most people don’t know about Jonathan is a bit strange too. We just joined a missional group at our church. There are 5 other couples, all with young kids. They just assume Michael is our first. We haven’t had a chance to share about Jonathan. It’s kind of a heavy thing to lay on a group. I don’t know how it will happen, but I hope I have the chance soon. I hope that they will be touched and remember God’s goodness, just like I did when I heard Simeon’s story.

My new look

rdeeter — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 19:40:30 +0000

So a few months ago, a dear friend of mine decided to donate her hair which was long and curly like mine. After seeing her pictures and hearing her story, I was so inspired to do the same! I haven’t had my hair cut since before Michael was born and I don’t do anything with it anymore except put it in a bun so that Michael won’t pull on it. I thought, someone else could enjoy my hair much more than I am.

So I found an Aveda salon that was doing a hair drive for Locks of Love. If you don’t know anything about this organization, you should read about it. It’s pretty amazing: www.locksoflove.org. Most people that donate are kids, but I figured this would be a great opportunity to give and start the new year. So I donated almost 11 inches and then had another inch taken off for styling. It’s kind of fun, but still strange that I can’t throw it over my shoulder anymore. And Michael has nothing to hold onto!

NYE with kids

rdeeter — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 02:45:08 +0000

When you become a parent, a lot of things change in your life. New Year’s Eve is a great example. There is nothing exciting about staying up until midnight. (Of course my husband didn’t even like doing that before Michael, but that’s a whole different story). Yes, we have become boring old people that generally go to bed around 10/10:30pm most nights. Instead of staying home and making the night like every other night of the year, we decided to take a road trip to Dallas. Now for those of you that don’t know this, Dallas is about 230 miles away from Austin. The longest car ride Michael has ever been in was about 2 hours, and he was near meltdown at the end of that. So we were taking a very brave chance in making the long drive.

The biggest reason I wanted to go to Dallas is that one of my closest girlfriends just moved there with her family. I haven’t seen her in over 2 years, so she had not met Michael. We also have another couple friend from Chicago that moved there a couple years ago. So it was a worthwhile adventure.

But back to NYE.

My friend Kelly has 2 kids that are 3 and 6 years old.

They were not going to stay up until midnight either. So we made a special dinner with chocolate fondue to finish it off.

Then broke out the noise makers and hats and opened the bottle of champagne and sparking cider around 7:45pm so we could toast the new year in at 8:00.

The great thing about kids is that they don’t really know that’s it’s supposed to be at midnight, so they partied it up and had fun no matter the time!

So we were able to have a super fun New Year’s Eve and still be in bed by 10:30pm!

To wean or not to wean?

rdeeter — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 02:21:37 +0000

So now that Michael has reached his one-year milestone, I’ve been asked by several people if I am going to wean him from breastfeeding. To be honest, I never thought about it. Most of the last year has been a struggle to make sure I have an ample supply to keep up with his demand. I never dreamed I would get to a point where I would choose to just stop. Not that I thought (or wanted) to breastfeed forever, but I thought at some point I would run out or that he would not be interested anymore. Well we are so very far from Michael losing interest. There are still times he refused food, his favorite blanket, EVERYTHING, except for the opportunity to nurse.

I remember at 2 weeks, I didn’t know if I could make it to a month. And then, I just hoped I could make it to 3 months. Then 6 months was a stretch. And next thing I know it. . . . it’s been over 365 days! And now to think the end might be near is surreal. I mean I have spent anywhere from 3-8 hours a day breastfeeding or pumping for the last year. I can’t even imagine what I will do with that time back. It doesn’t seem possible. But God made it possible that I sustained for a year, and now he will help me continue or walk onto the next thing.

I have decided to stop pumping. Hallelujah! Any woman that has spent time with a breast pump knows there is absolutely nothing enjoyable about it. Since I still have about a 1-2 month supply of milk in the freezer, I have no reason to continue this miserable task. The rest I will leave up to Michael. I don’t mind once in the morning, once before bed. At least for a few more weeks or months. I enjoy our morning time together. We can look into each other’s eyes and I can talk to him. It’s a fabulous way to start my day. The night time I could do without. I sit in the dark for 30-60 minutes (yes, he still can nurse this long at his age!) and I can’t see him or talk to him. By the time he’s done, I only get about 60-90 minutes with my husband and half of that is getting ready for bed. So maybe that one will go sooner rather than later. Time will tell.

Michael’s Birthday Party

rdeeter — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 04:02:41 +0000

Since today was Michael’s actual birthday, we had a little party. And while we only had a few friends that were able to come, we had a great time! I’m very thankful for those friends that came and shared a special day with my very special boy. Thank you, thank you!!

We started with a simple theme

Next, got our party hats on. Michael didn’t want to wear one at first

But when he realized it wasn’t so bad, he went on to enjoy the rest of the party with no crying.

We had to have balloons, because what kid doesn’t love balloons?

And of course some games. I think maybe they let Michael think he won

Then on to the main event: THE CAKE!

Now I will probably disappoint some of you to know that I made 2 different kinds of cupcakes for Michael’s birthday. Chocolate with chocolate frosting for the guests, and egg-free, dairy-free, sugar-free apple spice cupcakes (that more like muffins) with pureed banana as “frosting” for Michael.

He looked VERY excited. I don’t know if it was the cake or the candle that got him all excited? But once he got a hold of that healthy cupcake, I don’t think he cared that it wasn’t chocolate. It tasted sweeter and better than anything he had every had before.

He only took a break once, and proceeded to down the entire cupcake with getting very little on his face.

Next was the finale: THE PRESENTS

Michael did not really understand the concept of unwrapping presents, so thankfully Bethany and Drake were there to help.

More balloon play time until, oops!

Thank you to our friends that helped make Michael’s birthday such a special day.

Thank you Linda!

Thank you Dawn, Drake and Bethany!

Thank you Julie and Jude!

Thank you Daddy! (even though you made me wear a hat)

Thank you Momma!

Can’t wait to have the next celebration in Chicago with friends there. More cake, right?

Michael is 1!

rdeeter — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 22:32:52 +0000

I can’t believe that one year ago we were sitting in the hospital holding our sweet bundle of joy, so relieved that the labor and delivery were over. (Go back and read that blog entry if you haven’t. . . . quite the emotions flying). I look at my precious boy and it is so hard to believe a year has gone by. He has grown so much and learned so much and given us so much joy. I can’t imagine my life without him.

So here’s a quick year in review. I tried to pick my favorite picture from each month, which was SOOOOOO hard to do. There were too many good ones! But here goes:

December:

November:

October:

September:

August:

July:

June:

May:

April:

March:

February:

January:

December, week 2 of life:

December, week 1 of life:

Birth Day, December 17, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DEAR LITTLE MICHAEL. Momma loves you!!

Not as planned

rdeeter — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 04:33:28 +0000

Have you ever had one of those days that did not go at all as planned? Today was one of those days for me. And while the day was not at all as I had originally thought it would go, God showed up and blessed me in an amazing way.

I thought I was going to have about 1.5 hours with my dear longtime friend, Becky. Instead, I got 6 hours and also got to see her sister. Sadly, I hadn’t seen my friend since my wedding in 2007. But she lives in PA, and I have been in Chicago and life has not given us the opportunity to be in the same place. But today, God gave us that. I got to meet her sweet little 5 month old son. And she got to meet Michael. We may not talk on the phone all the time, but she is one of those friends that you can pick up mid-conversation as though no time has passed since we were last together. Friends like that are such a treasure. I have realized being a mother, that life only gets more busy and more chaotic trying to keep up with my 2 foot tall little man. I wish I could call and email all the friends I love on a monthly basis or more. But motherhood doesn’t always give you that opportunity. And that is why it is so wonderful to have friends that get that. Friends that don’t grow distant, just because you can’t be together. Friends you can talk to for 5 minutes, or 5 hours, whatever life allows.

Once upon a time, Becky met me as I was coming out of the darkest season of my life. Her joy and love for Jesus were something that I didn’t have, but knew I wanted. With much time, I found this. Just one way God used Becky in my life, and why we’ve stayed friends. I have always been a very scheduled and structured person. Becky is quite the opposite. For some, this might drive them crazy. But every time I get a chance to spend time with my dear friend, I learn to let go and just go with whatever blessing God is going to present. And so that letting go today, gave me and Michael the chance to spend a wonderful afternoon with my friend, her son and her sister. I wouldn’t have had it any other way!

Day Care: Day 1

rdeeter — Tue, 06 Dec 2011 04:43:55 +0000

Today was Michael’s first day at day care. Going into the experience, I was and still continue to be most concerned about his napping. Michael will only sleep if the conditions are perfect. Perfect for him that is. Nice and dark room, with no noises except for the white noise machine to lull him to sleep. (I don’t think I’ve mentioned before that we have bought 3 white noise machines after having left them behind when traveling.) He also needs to sleep with his stuffed dog/blanket or his furry fleece-like blanket. Sometimes he can sleep on his side, but usually his stomach. Oh, and he prefers to be sung and rocked to sleep as opposed to being put in his crib awake. But then there’s day care, where there is a 1-to-4 ratio of adults to children. So the first thing my little man is having to learn is that the days of one-on-one attention are a thing of the past.

We arrived and 3 other children were already there. Michael jumped right into playing with the toys and exploring around. This was quite a relief that he was grasping onto me. I thought I’d stick around for a short bit, just to make sure he was getting settled in. Soon, Mr. Chef David brought breakfast in so the teacher said I could put him in one of the chairs at the table and strap in him. So I did, and then he started screaming while she plated up everyone’s food. You see at home, Michael sits in his chair and the food appears just seconds later. Momma has learned to get the food all ready to go before I even put him in his chair. This will be the first hard lesson to learn. He ate his cheerios and peaches like a champ, so I decided it was time for me to leave before he decided to cling onto me.

I had many tasks I needed to get done in my day without Michael. Since I quit my job, I feel like I get less done at home than I did before. I feel like Michael takes more of my time than when we had a nanny, even though she was only there when I was at work. Not that I don’t love spending time with my son, but I could use more of a balance in my life. I cleaned the house, prepped dinner, got our Christmas cards done, and few other odds and ends – it felt so great. But by the early afternoon, I really started to miss the little bugger. I missed him coming into the kitchen and grabbing my pant leg to pull himself up. I missed the interruption in “work” to stop and giggle and roll around on the floor with him. I missed giving him hugs and kisses all day long.

As I walked up to the door of the day care center at the end of the day, I remember feeling so very excited. It had only been about 7.5 hours, but it felt so much longer. I had not been away from him for that long in about 7 weeks. I looked in the window of his classroom and he was in the corner near some of the other kids, hugging and holding his blanket. The first sign that it had been a bit of a rough day. Then I could see him crying. I came into the room, and instead of crawling to me like usual he just sat there and kept crying. It made me a bit sad. My poor little baby. So I walked over and picked him up looking into his red eyes, then kissing his forehead. He looked so tired and just worn out. In their bright room, with all the cribs lined up on the opposite side of the room as the play area it was no wonder he hardly napped. I usually put him down twice for a nap, and they only put him down once. He slept for an hour and they thought that was good. But when he usually naps 2.5-3 hours or more a day, it’s no wonder he just seemed so out of it. As I tried to ask about the other details of the day, the teacher was trying to bottle feed one infant she was holding, keep a pacifier in another crying babies mouth, while a third baby was trying to push her way onto her lap. The days of one-on-one attention are gone for little Michael. I know it’s probably the right time for him, but it’s still a hard transition – both for him and for me. Another parent came in to pick up her child who was laying on the floor alone in a bobby pillow crying. The mother didn’t seem to be bothered by her child’s crying. How horrifying I thought! (Not that I’m being judgmental) But I am always upset when I come into the room and see Michael crying. I hope that putting him into day care doesn’t desensitize me to that. I know he can’t have everything the way he’s been used to for the last year of his life, but I also don’t want to see him upset by being in day care. I really hope he can warm up to the idea. I know it’s good for him. And it’s good for Momma too. But sometimes what is good for you, is not always easy to accept.

Day 1 survived by both of us. Let’s see what tomorrow will bring.